Choices in Life: A Journey as a Single Mother
Life is full of choices. As I grow older, I often find myself reflecting on the decisions I’ve made. What if I had chosen differently? Were these the right choices, or the right decisions? Many times, these choices were driven by emotions—happiness, grief, sadness or even anger. Looking back, there were moments I should have taken a breath, sat down, and thought things through before jumping to conclusions. But as an Aries, patience and reflection aren’t exactly my strengths.
Normally, big life decisions are something you would discuss with a partner, but for us, it’s just the two of us. That changes everything. Sometimes I catch myself wondering, am I the only one who makes life feel so complicated, and am i the only one who makes life so hard for my self ?
Surely, there must be many single moms and dads out there facing the same struggles. We don’t get a manual when our children are born—no guide to tell us how to navigate through life, or how to make the right choices, not just for ourselves but for our little ones too.
Every decision feels so important, because it’s not just my life that I’m shaping, it’s hers too. I constantly ask myself, “Am I making the best decisions for Day?” I want her to grow up strong, confident, and capable of making her own choices one day, but it’s hard to know if I’m always doing what’s right. Balancing her happiness, her future, and our life together feels like an impossible puzzle sometimes. But in the end, all I can do is trust my instincts, reflect on my own experiences, and try to make the best choices I can—for both of us.
Now, as I sit here sharing my life on this blog, I realize that emotions and feelings are an integral part of who I am. The feelings of loss, confusion, and sometimes the overwhelming sense of being stuck, unsure of the next step. The internal struggle of where I want to go to, how i want to see my live ( our live’s in 10 years from now), and who I want to experience my and Day’s life with.
My daughter, Day, is growing up fast. Soon, she will start making her own choices, enjoying life and creating her own path. In my heart, I hope she makes better decisions than I did. I hope her journey is smoother. But deep down, I’m not worried about her. For someone so young, she is already wise beyond her years. She is decisive, mature, and clear in her thoughts, something I truly admire and often feel envious of—sometimes, it even feels like she’s the adult in our little world.
I’ve already learned so much from her—about life, love, and patience. The love she gives me is something I’ve never experienced before. It’s unconditional, pure, and beautiful.
Her little arms wrapped around my neck, trusting me entirely—that’s the most precious necklace I’ve ever worn.
Her small hand in mine, making me feel like we can take on the world together.Patience, something I never had until she looked into my eyes with her big blue eyes.
I still laugh when I remember moments like her dropping her cookie on the freshly vacuumed floor, and instead of picking it up, she quickly nudged the crumbs towards the dogs with her little feet, saying, “It’s okay, mom,” in her soft, lisping voice.
This little miracle came into my life at a time when everything seemed the hardest, and she has taught me so much. But now, as I sit here this morning thinking about the future, I’m faced with new decisions. Choices about her schooling
what direction should we take? How will she manage the trips into the city when we live in a small village? And most importantly, how do I begin to let her go from this safe, protected bubble I’ve built around us?
Writing this, I’m filled with emotion. As a single mother, these decisions weigh heavy. Every choice feels monumental, not just for me but for her future. And yet, I know that all I can do is my best and trust that she will grow into the incredible person she is already becoming.
One of the more personal and challenging decisions we face is Day’s heartfelt wish to change her last name. Since she was very young, she has wanted to make this change as a gesture of gratitude to me and her grandparents, who have shown her immense love and support. For Day, having the same last name as the rest of us would be a powerful symbol of our family band. It represents her pride in being a part of our family and her connection to the people who have cared for her deeply.
However, changing a child’s last name after a separation involves significant considerations. There are two primary ways to request a name change. First, you must file an application with the court. This process can easily cost over €800, a fee that is required regardless of whether the court’s decision is favorable or not. Additionally, name changes are only permitted under specific circumstances, and the application must meet several stringent conditions.
The financial burden and the potential for the donor to have some say in the matter complicate the situation further. Although I deeply wish to honor Day’s request, the process is complex and sometimes disheartening. As we navigate these decisions, balancing practical realities with emotional values remains a delicate challenge. Each choice impacts our future, and while I strive to support Day’s wishes, the road to achieving them is not always straightforward.
As I reflect on life’s choices, both big and small, I realize that each step forward is an opportunity to learn, grow, and continue to build the bond between us. Even though I don’t always know if I’m making the right decisions, the love and connection we share gives me hope for the future.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s the most important choice of all.
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